Laugh at Yourself First: It Changes Everything!

[00:01:22] Deb Krier: Hey there, Lifter Uppers. I'm Deb Krier, the co-host of Cancer and Comedy, where our mission is to heal cancer-impacted people through hope and humor, something we like to call turning the grim into a grin. Today on Cancer and Comedy, we're going to be talking about "He or She Who Laughs First Changes Everything," the strategy of laughing at yourself first as a way to cope with cancer. Well, now here is the host of Cancer and Comedy, Dr. Brad Miller.

[00:01:54] Dr. Brad Miller: Hey, thank you, Deb. As always, awesome and a pleasure and a privilege to be with you and our Cancer and Comedy Lifter Uppers as we look to help people cope with hope and humor, as we like to say, turning the grim of a cancer diagnosis or being impacted by cancer into the grin of a fulfilled life. We’re talking about that here today as we talk about how we can kind of choose if we're going to laugh at ourselves first, in order to kind of dissipate things and help other people to connect with what we're about, to help the healing process. And we like to do that in terms of developing a community. We're really working on that here on the Cancer and Comedy podcast, and we would like to be a community of people that really helps others cope with hope.

[00:03:32] Dr. Brad Miller: Hey Deb, you know how sometimes some of my friends always seem to get in trouble? Well, I have one friend who hooked the biggest fish of his life, but the thing got away, and the poor guy—he’s still reeling from the loss.

[00:03:46] Deb Krier: Cute.

[00:03:49] Dr. Brad Miller: Another friend of mine, she swallowed some invisible ink, and now she’s in the emergency room waiting to be seen.

[00:03:55] Deb Krier: Oh my gosh!

[00:04:00] Dr. Brad Miller: I had an Eskimo friend—when his igloo fell apart, he said, “Don’t worry, I’ll glue it back together.”

[00:04:03] Deb Krier: Cute, cute, cute!

[00:04:06] Dr. Brad Miller: That’s enough of that. But we love jokes, and we’ll have another one after our conversation. Then, of course, we’ll get serious for the Faith It or Break It segment.

[00:04:35] Deb Krier: Well, as Dr. Brad mentioned, we’d love for you to be part of our Cancer and Comedy community, where together we crush cancer with a message of how to cope with hope and humor. Please follow Cancer and Comedy at cancerandcomedy.com/follow.

[00:04:45] Dr. Brad Miller: Indeed, it's good for us to have these conversations about things that matter. And one of the things that matters is how we cope with something as serious as cancer. We, the ones impacted by it, can take the lead in how everyone else around us reacts to it. And I think one of the ways we can do that is by poking a few holes in the bubble, making fun of some things ourselves, and deflating the tension. That’s what I wanted to talk about today—how if we laugh at ourselves first, it helps to alleviate pressure on others.

[00:06:42] Dr. Brad Miller: In my case, after surgery for prostate cancer, I had scars on my belly from the laparoscopic procedure. I joked with my granddaughters, saying, "You want to see Grandpa’s seven belly buttons?"—and they get a kick out of it. It embarrasses my daughter and my wife a little, but that’s okay. I think humor can really help relieve the tension for ourselves and others. What do you think, Deb?

[00:08:09] Deb Krier: Absolutely! I remember when I lost all my hair because of chemo. My friend, who’s a dog groomer, shaved my head for me, and when the doctors came in the next day, I joked, “The dog groomer was here today!” It made the doctors laugh, and it definitely helped lighten the mood.

[00:09:47] Dr. Brad Miller: Yeah, it’s about taking control of the situation. It wasn’t like your hair fell out slowly—it was just there one moment and gone the next. You took charge of that, and by joking about it, you diffused the situation.

[00:10:09] Deb Krier: Exactly! You can laugh at something yourself first, which diffuses it. But if someone else made the joke first, it could come off as cruel. Humor is all about timing and perspective.

[00:12:01] Dr. Brad Miller: That’s right. There’s a fine line between what’s in good taste and what’s in poor taste. It’s important to be aware of the context and how others are feeling. But when we use humor to poke fun at ourselves, it’s empowering, because we’re choosing to take control of how we handle our situation.

[00:13:38] Deb Krier: Like I said, sometimes what we've gone through, when you reflect on it, really is funny. You know, sometimes you can’t believe what happened, and sometimes you can’t believe you survived it. That’s what humor does—it helps us cope with it all.

[00:19:52] Deb Krier: There are times when we do need to be sad, and that's okay. It’s normal to feel down and anxious at times. But humor helps us turn things around. It makes a huge difference in the healing process. Sometimes we just need to put on something like I Love Lucy to lift our spirits.

[00:20:12] Dr. Brad Miller: Humor to heal—that’s what we’re all about here at Cancer and Comedy. We turn the grim into a grin, and we’re building a community to help others do the same. We’d love for people to connect with us and share their stories at cancerandcomedy.com/follow.

[00:20:23] Deb Krier: Well, speaking of humor, it’s time for another one of Dr. Brad’s bad jokes of the day!

[00:20:42] Deb Krier: Well, Lifter Uppers, this brings us to the close of the Cancer and Comedy podcast with Dr. Brad Miller. Cancer and Comedy is all about telling uplifting stories of people like you who are kicking cancer's butt with healing through hope and humor. You can join those of us who are turning the grim into grins by telling us your uplifting stories. Just go to cancerandcomedy.com/voice. Well, that’s it for now. Please join us next time on Cancer and Comedy, and if you like what you hear, please pass this podcast on to someone in your life who might need to turn their grim into a grin. For Dr. Brad Miller, I’m Deb Krier, reminding you that a cheerful heart is good medicine.