From Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader to Cancer Thriver: The Journey of Tammy Barber

Hello, good people. Welcome back again to cancer and comedy. This is the podcast where we look to turn the grim of cancer into the grin of a fulfilled life, and we love to have people on our podcast who embody that. And one such person is our special guest today, Tami Barber. She has the podcast cancer, the emotional mountain, and she's going to be sharing with us a little bitof her journey, which started in a cool way at another lifetime. You were a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. So Tammy, welcome to cancer and comedy.

No. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me on. I'm really excited.

Well, I'm thrilled to have you on cancer and comedy with our co-host, Deb, and for us to chat a little bit about your life and your career and the things are going on with you. And you and I got acquainted and reacquainted an event called podfest, and you did a comedy workshop, but basically about what happens when a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader and a comedian and cancer patient walk into a bar and and kind of the and the the, the kicker of all that is that's all you is that right?

All three are me, yeah.

Well, that is kind of the starting point. Give us a little synopsis of who Tammy Barber is, where you come from, where you're at now, and what do you do?

Okay, well, I am Tami Barber. Far as I know. I am what they call one of the vintage Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. I cheered 1977 through 80, the good years, the Tom Landry, Roger Staubach, Tony Dorset years.

Yeah, and they were America's team. I'm not sure what.

America's team has won two Super Bowls. There you go, back-to-back Super Bowls. And what's really ironic is that the first Super Bowl I went to in what we call our rookie year, because we go with rookie and veterans as well, was at the Superdome in New Orleans. Wow. And first time. Now, when the first time I've been to New Orleans, but we won't talk about that, but it was the first time in the Superdome. Now I live here in Nola, and the Super Bowl is here in a week and a half. So I've come full circle in 40-some years, but I did cheer up for the Dallas Cowboys in 1977, completely unaware of what it was going to become. I had no clue. The story is that I grew up in the Midwest. My father is an avid Die Hard Dallas Cowboys fan. I am an avid Die Hard Los Angeles Rams fan since the eighth grade and Roman Gabe, Roman Gabriel. And when I went away to school, I went to Dallas to go to college, and one day on the radio, they announced that the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders were holding auditions for their cheerleaders. And I thought, what the heck my dad would think that was a kick. So I sent in my picture and my why I want to be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. This was the years of snail mail. Okay, to get a stamp, you had to get an address. You had to walk to the post office. And I got a time to come try out. And long story short, that year that I tried out, there were 2000 girls that competed for 14 openings on the squad.

Oh, my goodness.

I had I known that probably wouldn't have done it, but I just did what my dad raised me to do, which was Go for it. And it took about three different levels of okay, now you've made this cut. Now you made that cut. Now you made that cut. I had told nobody, okay, that I was doing this, especially my parents, because they still lived in the Midwest. I was in college. The end of the school year was coming up, and I didn't want to tell anybody in case I didn't make it. So when I did, when I did make it, and went home for the summer. I was home for two days, and I said, I have to go back to Dallas this weekend. I'm trying out for the Cowboys Cheerleaders. So off we went, my mom and I.

I bet your dad, I bet your dad went nuts on that news.

Didn't he? You know, he did. He was like you did what that that was the final stay, and it took, oh my gosh, I think we were there probably about eight or nine hours. And again, no cell phones, no nothing. They're just sitting at my aunt and uncle's house, waiting, waiting, waiting. And I pull up and my mom says to me, I've eaten a whole roll of a. So did you make it?

Here's calmly said. Yeah, I did it right there.

Yeah, and, and we had no clue, no idea. That was the year that the Cowboys played the devil Broncos in the Super Bowl in the Superdome. And that is when it hit all of a sudden, overnight, the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders were the hottest thing in America, and we were all just swept along with it. We had no clue. We didn't feel different. We didn't know what we had. We just loved what we were doing, and we cheered for the greatest team in America.

Wow. And so that changed your life. And so you'll always have that, no matter what else happens to you. You always have that. You always have that won't once you I know that you're part of what you work on now is you've kind of based a little bit of the theme this has to do with how, you know, life can turn on a dime, and life can transition both good and bad and all kinds of ways. And so indeed, you call your podcast an emotional mountain, so see like become a Dallas COVID Cheerleader was an emotional mountain top. You know, Mountain High, high moment there. But you've had some kind of emotional some valleys too. And so let's kind of fast forward to there that some of the challenges you've had, maybe health-wise, that have kind of taken you down a peg or two, and you've had to then rebuild your life.

Right? Well, when I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, stage 3b I was living my this is what I want to be when I grow up. Dream I had moved away. Both of my parents were gone, and I did the whole got rid of everything, bought a 35-foot camper, took my three dogs and my eight parrots, and moved to Kanab, Utah, to work for Best Friends Animal Sanctuary, and literally, my backyard was the Grand Canyon. It was amazing. I couldn't I couldn't even put into perspective the year that I lived and worked there, that the sun rises, the sun sets, the the joy of rescuing animals, and when I got the phone call, I was sitting in my truck because where I lived in my camper, I lived on a beautiful Indian Reservation, but I didn't have cell service. Okay, so I had to dry I had I could get a voicemail, but my phone wouldn't ring, and I couldn't call out. So I had gotten a voicemail to call the doctor on a Monday morning at 8 am, okay, not a good sign. I got in my truck, I drove the mile and a half up to the top of the VISTA, where I could get a signal. And when I called the office, she said, Oh, he wants you to have his cell number now. 8am on a Monday morning when I'd had an MRI on a Friday afternoon. I thought, I don't, you know what? I didn't think anything other than, why is he asking me out on a Monday morning at 8 am my brain wasn't ready for what he told me. All right, he told me I had a very aggressive, fast growing ovarian cancer, and that I couldn't do it. Where I lived. I was 75 miles from St George, so that was without even an appointment. And I'd been doing some appointments that had brought us to this point, it was at least a five hour day just to drive there, sure go to the clinic and such. And nine days later, I was on my way to Louisiana to be with a family member who could help me and I could get the proper care. So I was really pretty positive through all of that, because I am a positive person, and I think in the beginning, I didn't wrap my head around what was happening to me. I think when you hear the words, you have cancer, you kind of black out, and your brain protects you and says, yeah, no, yeah, I do. Maybe I don't. I don't know, and, and I don't know about you and any of your listeners, but I really don't remember anything about the conversation that seemed to be a common experience.

You kind of just go zone out or something.

Yeah, you zone out, I think, so that you don't jump off a cliff, which I was very close to when I could have done that. So I got here to Louisiana, and I was in surgery. Within five days of arriving here, I had a tumor the size of a grapefruit. Oh my goodness, wow. And my and my cancer marker was. I was so high and growing so quickly that I'm pretty sure the doctor in Utah does not think that I am here today. Oh my gosh, that is how and But see, I didn't I again. I didn't even process any of that. So what? How I became, how I came to cancer, the emotional mountain, my surgery, my first round of chemo, and all that goes with that. I was very upbeat, positive. I can do this. I've got this. And at the end of that first round of treatment, I had a CAT scan. Was told the chemo didn't work. Oh, my goodness, wow, we're gonna do something else. That was the first time that I went down the hole of, I think I'm dying. Okay. I was scared to death. I went to the cancers at the cancer center that I went to had, obviously, has psychiatrists that will work with you. And unfortunately, that was not a very good experience. Okay, I had a doctor who I'm pretty sure had graduated on Sunday, and I saw him Monday morning.

one of those, one of those docs, it looks like they're 12 years old. I've had that, yeah.

Yeah, yep. And he talked more about his school loans than my cancer and how he was going to pay them all. Let's just say it wasn't a good mix. I gave him three tries.

So you were going down, you're gonna go and use your metaphor, you're going down a mountain. Now, weren't you?

Oh, I am sliding fast. I mean, it, it. I'm washing through the gullies. I'm Ashton and crashing. And then, you know where you roll down and you hit a hit a limb, and then you bounce off and go down the other one. Wow. Yeah, it was. It was probably aside from losing my parents, I don't know when I've ever been that hopeless, that despondent. There was just so then I started thinking, why don't they have someone who has walked in these shoes? Why am I being talked at by someone who I don't even think has met somebody with cancer, let alone treated them. So he was fired, and I found a one. I am so sorry. Your listeners can't see this, but my cat is very entertaining screen right now, so I'm bouncing around. That's our so I found a fabulous group of women who are called the bionic babes, dancers of hope. And we are cancer survivors. All right, yep, we dance. Hey, it's New Orleans. Hey, party, no matter what you do.

Well, apparently, you know, if you were a cheerleader, you were a dancer, then, right, yep, there you go.

So I, yeah, I have been with them. There we are, in our third year. I found my people.

So you're going up the you're going up the mountain now, right now, I'm going up the mountain.

but I'm still seeing the gap. I had taken a podcast class online, because, you know, this is all during COVID. So everything was zoom. And said, I Well, I had originally thought I would do a podcast about living in your camper, okay, right? Single Woman and traveling the world, not the world, obviously, but the United States. And then I thought, and then, you know how when something like cancer affects you, you re you assess and you pivot. And I said, I need to talk to people who maybe don't have I am so blessed and have so much at my fingertips to help me through this. But there are people who don't Right, right? They're more isolated. They don't all they really have, maybe is their phone to listen to a podcast.

So you start, so you start to use your podcast to reach out, to connect with other people, with a like tell a similar story. And I know someone you got, you got connected with a group of women on some sort of retreat setting in Montana. Didn't you swear other? Yes? Did that come about as a result of this, or somehow other you got connected with this group of ovarian cancer.

Yes, of all the bionic babes, one other one is also an ovarian cancer survivor, and she had found it's called Camp make a dream just outside of Missoula, and this is a camp that is dedicated to cancer patients, caregivers, family, siblings. It is all you have to do is get yourself there. You can apply online. You have to get all. Kinds of stuff from your doctor. So it's very, very safe, and there are nurses there you apply, and if you get picked, all you got to do is get to Missoula Airport and the rest is taken care of. And it was I went for the first time last fall, and I was able to sit in a room with 47 other ovarian cancer survivors, and it lifted me right back up. I'm right back where I want to be on my journey, knowing that I'm not alone and I have and there is a word called survivor. Now I'm a Thrive I'm a thriver. I am four years into treatment. I say to people, I quit counting infusions and chemos after I had had 85 infusions. Oh, my goodness. Oh, wow. And eight and seven different chemos. I always say, what flavor are we doing this.

week? Yeah. What a great attitude. My gosh, well, that's, that's a fabulous story. And then you got those people you can lean on, and that's part, that's a part of your your group now, your tribe, whoever you want to say, people you, you wrote, relate to. And that's, that's an awesome thing. And one things I picked up on, some of the things I've studied about you here, tambi is that you found some comfort or solace in some unexpected places. You mentioned somewhere in something about adult fairy tales you found on YouTube. I was interested in that, and it does want to tell me about that. Or what are the surprising places have you found some comfort or some places that been joyful for you and your journey.

Oh, I love that. You know that as as you know, as someone who deals with cancer, because it's, it's always going to be here now.

Yeah, it's a part of who you are now, right? It is who I am now.

And a hangnail, you know, I think, uh oh, bone cancer, a headache, I have brain cancer, and it's always there, that little, little voice that you try and put off. And when you get in bed at night and it's quiet, that's when it starts rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling. And so I, I am a graduate of YouTube University. I can put the kitchen faucet. I can change the kitchen faucet. I can do all sorts of mechanical things, thing thanks to YouTube, and I found a man called Stephen Dalton, and he does adult fairy tales. He He's a Irish storyteller. I turned those on at night, and I set my timer, and he and the screen eventually goes dark. So you you know, if you don't want a night light, you don't have to have one. And his voice is so soothing, and I fall asleep as he tells the tales of a coffee shop, a book shop, a candle shop, a forest, a beach, and he has, and it's just been so wonderful because I now have a routine where I have found, if I have anxiety, right before I go to bed, I'm gonna listen to a fairy tale and have a good night's sleep.

Well, that is awesome. That's awesome, and that's a point of joy for you, right? A point of it really, of comfort. And we need that. We need, you know as cancer, people who survive, or people who thrive, or warriors, or different metaphors we use for this, but to get through it, you have to have times, not only of those mountain top experience those exhilarating things and but you also have these times of just comfort and peace and centeredness. And I think that you have explained that it's not, you know, there's a part of your persona. You know, the cheerleader is one who's, you know, you know, pom poms and smiles and so on. And you know, a cheerleader, by their almost by definition, has to put on a smile. I know cheerleaders who said My cheeks hurt after a game, a game, a game or something like this, I had to smile so much, and then they would, you know, kind of have to have a come down period. But you're, you're saying here, you have to have both these center times and things like that. And so I want to ask you a little different question here now, because I think it has to do with how your experience may be helpful for people to understand what they're going through and to be with others. Because you're just in the public eye a little bit from your cheerleader experience and the persona that you have, and you deal with this as well. But there are other people who are the public eye, like, I'm a pastor. I've no one of clergy people were had to go through bad times as well, and, you know, they were the public eye. And I've no there's also some very public figures, like Kate Middleton, you know, from England. Oh yeah, you know, very and dealing with some very private, difficult things. So give some advice to people who some might other want to protect or to be mindful of their public image persona and how they can still deal with the inner turmoil and all the inner stuff that we. Go through. Can you speak to that a little bit?

I can I, but that is very individual as well. I have not made my cancer journey. Pub, well, I didn't tell anyone other than the people that I lived with and were helping me and four friends and who are actually Dallas Cowboy cheerleader alumni. I turned to a select four that I knew. Wouldn't you know? Do the you got this? You're stronger than anybody. I know you're not ready for that. I have kept it. Yes, I have it, and I really wasn't even that public about it until I knew I could help people. I had to sort through it for me first. And I think if you're in the public eye, and I was listening to one of your past podcasts where somebody asked, Deborah, are you done with that cancer thing? And I thought, you know, that really is kind of how it is, and I don't want to be known for that. I want to be known for somebody who has it but just continues to be me. I don't want it to change. It's changed me. Definitely changed me. But if I find something that's for me, there's two different plates of that. There's the public Tammy that is willing to share to a certain extent, and then there's the little tea cup of this is just for Tammy. Okay, size that I'm gonna work through first. And if I come up with something really good, I will share it. If I don't, I go, okay, still working.

There you go. There you go. Well, how has this process here helped you in being helpful or to connect up with other people who have deal with cancer or some other bad thing in life, or might be, especially those people who might be struggling, because a lot of people struggle with this, you know, and we, you and I have had our struggles. We shared a little bit here, but I have to imagine Tammy, that somebody has come to you and said, Tammy, whatever you're saying is resonate with me. What do you say to those folks to put a little light in their life?

Well, one of the things that I was blessed to do was I was hired as a barista at the cancer center, okay? And it's, it's a phenomenal Cancer Center, and it is also associated with MD Anderson. Give a shout out to my Docs. And so it, it covers all cancers, it covers all people, all ages, all shapes and sizes. And one thing I learned where I was located is I could see in the eyes of someone who had just gotten the diagnosis, who had just gone through chemo school, who had was coming in for their first treatment, and there's, there's an obstacle. Yeah, you're very what's gonna happen? What's gonna happen the unknown? And I was able to just look them in the eye and say, I'm I was told I was terminal in August of 2022 and here I stand okay. It's gonna be okay. You have someone and and those, those were the people that I gravitated towards, because it was almost like an energy I could feel now.

Tell me, tell me. Tell me about one of those people. You said that too. How did they react? I know you said, I know you got so I could tell you got somebody in mind, who you said that those very words too, and they reacted in a way that impacted you. Tell me about that experience.

We were across the counter. It was a beautiful woman who we've become. We became very, very close friends, and I could tell she was a professional, a corporate professional, who had herself totally together, and the tears started shooting out of her eyes, because I think she, as well, had created the persona, you know, I'm a CEO. I'm running a big company. This has thrown me for a loop. And we we looked into each other's eyes, and she started to cry, and I just came running around the corner, and I gave her a hug and and from that day on, we're fast friends.

And well, you bonded at that moment, didn't you, and you came.

It has happened more than one.

And what does that you know when that kind of thing happens that sends your spirit soaring too, doesn't it? It really does.

I I feel that there is a purpose. I am going through this, and I'm surviving, yeah, because of it.

And one of the things to me that is a situation, Tami, where you've said yes to the opportunity there, I think it's something that you. Like to say sometimes that there's a bit of a power in saying yes when the opportunity comes, and that's maybe a little bit out of your comfort zone, but you do it anyhow. So tell me a little bit more about that, about how the power of saying yes, even when you might want to say no. Thank you. What's the impact of that for you?

You know, the power of yes has always been something that, I think, that my parents instilled in me, it's okay to fail. I mean, it's, it's like the it's been said over and over and over, just try, just try. It's okay to fail. If you don't fail, you haven't tried all of those cliche things. But for me, I was raised by, I'm an only child. So of course, the moon sets and and rises for me. And of course, yeah, the world is mine. It's all about me. But they, um, they were supportive no matter what. And I never went F after anything that I was worried now, okay, I did tell you. I didn't tell anybody about try not for cheerleading, because I think that was just an ego thing. I want to have tell people I didn't do it. The power of yes has helped me so many times, because if I would say 99.9 times, percent of the time, the yes is a good one, yeah. And if it hasn't, I'm able to say, well, apparently that's not where I was supposed to be. You know, we've all had I went for this job. I thought I really, really wanted it. I didn't get it. Boo hoo. But, you know, I think in the long run, if you just allow what I call my angels, my universe, they're gonna put me where I need to be. I have given my mother and I have a perfect saying that is, let go and let God. And I do that.

Let go, let God. I love that. Well, let me just ask you, kind of one more question. Then we'll let you share how people can be in common. In contact with you. And maybe it's a, I know it's unique or special, but it just, I can help but think about it in your background, as a you've mentioned about the group of dancers for what? What's the name of your dancing group? You're with the-

The the bionic babes.

and you were, of course, Dallas Cowboy cheerleader, but if it as if you were, and now you're kind of a cheerleader, as it were, for people who are dealing with cancer, right? You're kind of, you're, you're on your on our side, we're all in this together.

Yeah, so rah, rah, to the till I'm no longer here.

Well, how would you kind of choreograph, maybe a dance or a song or some way to celebrate life, for for people. How would you might do that?

How would I choreograph? I loved, I loved to choreograph things. FYI, I love the song. This is me from the greatest showman that touched me when it first came out, wow, going on six years ago, and it just kind of became my my song, because people have a tendency to look at you a certain way, whether it be out of not knowing you, deciding not to like you right off the bat, people are going to judge, and I love the fact that I can this is me, and I'm okay with me. I'm okay to sit home with myself. It's okay to have have a date night with just me. It's okay to have I go to movies by myself. I go to a restaurant by myself. I'm not afraid to do that. And I always find somebody to chat with. I would choreograph that you just come out of the mist, you come out of the fog, and you just open your arms wide and let it soak in.

There you go. Awesome. That's awesome. Well, you've been a delight to me and to our cancer comedy audience. We're letting that all soak in right now, Tammy and so to let's let people have the opportunity to get connected to you. How can people find out more about you your podcast, or any way they can get a hold of you? How can they be a part of your light?

Well, you have been so wonderful to re to tell everybody, but yes, I am the host. I say I'm the host, producer and craft service of cancer, the emotional mountain. It is a podcast that is on wherever you get your favorite podcast. I heart Spotify apple. And it is just some a lot of it is me solo, just sharing my my journey. And then also, I love to interview people like you and authors and people. I think the best part of this is finding your tribe, if, if somebody else has had cancer. So you can look that up. Also, Facebook, I have a page called. Cancer the emotional mountain. And I also am the host of sideline legends. In their own words, it's my newest podcast that tells the journey of all the former alumni NFL cheerleader. Oh, my United States.

I bet you there's some cool stories there too.

So in our words, because you know what the media does too.

There you go. Well, you've been it's been a delight to have you with us and to share with our cancer and comedy audience. Her name is Tamia Barber, and her podcast is cancer the emotional mountain, and she's been our guest today her on the cancer and comedy podcast. Thank you, Tami.

Thank you. Brad.