Cancer, Gratitude, and Laughter: Celebrating Life with Dr. Brad Miller and Deb Krier

Hey there, lifter uppers. I'm Deb Krier, the co-host of Cancer and Comedy, where we crush cancer with stories of healing through hope and humor, something we like to call turning the grim into a grin. We are so thankful that you made it here. And we wanted to share 20 things we are thankful for on this special episode of Cancer and Comedy. Here's the host of Cancer and Comedy, Dr. Brad Miller.

Hey, Deb, thank you so much. We're talking here today, just in the season of Thanksgiving, about why some things we're thankful for turning the grim of cancer into the grin of celebrating life, turning sorrow into smiles. We do want to remind our good listeners if you are dealing with depression or sadness, if you're impacted by cancer, especially during this holiday season, we've got some things that can be helpful to you. Our free course is healing through hope and humor for just about 15 minutes a day, five days. This is a course that can help you cope with hope. You can go to cancerandcomedy.com/free. This is kind of a bonus episode, an extra special episode that we're doing. We're recording this a few days before Thanksgiving, and Deb, I just want to ask you, what does one turkey say to another just before the big feast? I don't know. Do you believe in life after Thanksgiving? Cute, cute boy. After all, after Thanksgiving, what do you call the ghost of a turkey? You call it a poultry Geist.

Boo, you and your jokes. But they're definitely fun, and I love them.

Well, we are Cancer and Comedy. So I'm kind of known around my house as the dead joke guy. And they're almost always bad. But today, Deb, on Cancer and Comedy, we are talking about things we are thankful for. I remember one of our recent guests here on Cancer Comedy talked about how she copes with cancer by having a gratitude journal, basically, that she writes down every day, several things, half a dozen or more things that she's thankful for in her life. And I was thinking about that in terms of cancer and coping with cancer with hope. But in some ways, that's almost the opposite of what a lot of people think when they think cancer. They go, "My doom and gloom, and what's to be thankful for around cancer?" What do you think, Deb? Is there anything to be thankful for regarding dealing with cancer, and can we turn this around?

There, it does sound weird, but there are so many things to be thankful for. I am so thankful for my friends and my family. They have come together. I've been dealing with this for eight years. And they are still my foundation and the support that I get from them. I could not cope with this without them. So that's one thing. But it is very weird that we're thankful that this happened. For one thing, I would not have met you. And so, you know, that definitely makes me very thankful because it's what we have done. And I say "we," but you are the person who is most responsible for this. It is something that I think is so important because we do need to bring hope and, yes, humor to those who are on a cancer journey. And I'm just so thankful for that.

Well, I echo that. I love the fact that one of the things I'm really thankful for and love about you, Deb, is your laugh. When I first met you, I remember hearing you laugh and thinking, "Here is a woman who laughs easily and can have some fun in life regardless of circumstances." I even got a kick out of your website, "Trying Not to Die dot Live." I just thought that was cool in the sense of putting a twist on a difficult circumstance. We don't need to go into all the gory details, but you've had a very serious cancer situation to deal with, stage four and so on. And you still deal with it with hope and humor. So that's been a blessing to me.

It's been a challenge, but you're right, I do try and go through it with humor. I'm pretty sure that some of the times when I've gone in for surgery, and I've been like I normally am, Chatty Cathy, I'm pretty sure they knocked me out early just to make me shut up. Alright, about her. I know, I'll be like mid-sentence and I'm gone.

So they've had enough. Well, I think one of the things that I think is kind of cool about when you start to delve into this world, and when I was talking, came right around Thanksgiving time. And I was going through the midst of my diagnostic situation. I was diagnosed around this time of year about a year ago. The final diagnosis came right around Christmas. But right around this time, November, I was going through all the testing and all the rigmarole that you go through with prostate cancer. I became much more aware, more aware of all this stuff that kind of goes around this. You become more about the science of it, about the emotional thing, about relationship stuff. When a news story comes on about cancer, you become more aware of it. And so I did a little bit of research, and I found, you know, there's some really cool stuff that's happened regarding cancer that I think we need to be thankful for. One, just a couple of things that came up medically in the last couple of years is the advent of artificial intelligence, for instance, right, to help people diagnose and treat cancers that certainly was not there to the degree it is now. And so that's something that's a good thing. And there's people, scientists, and medical professionals and doctors are being able to leverage AI algorithms to help them to do their diagnosis and so on earlier, and particularly with some of the areas that it's really enhanced is prostate and breast cancer, just areas that you and I deal with, and colon cancer, which is, I have a family member dealing with that. So that's some of the things that are going on. There are other things regarding biopsies and vaccines and treatments that are happening, that I think are cool. And we just need to acknowledge that that's something to be thankful for, that we've got scientists and medical people who are working on this kind of thing all the time. I think back to COVID, how we had brilliant scientists working on COVID full speed to help that to be resolved. So I thought that was kind of a cool thing, that we've got medical people who, this is their life.

Right, and the advances that they make are just incredible. It's one of those things where we do, I think, see a higher incidence of diagnoses, but that's because we're catching things so much earlier. So then they can be treated, and cancers that, you know, 5-10 years ago, would have been a death sentence now are not. So anybody who, especially for Thanksgiving, when you're saying your prayers of what you're thankful for, be thankful for our medical people and for those who are the people who are studying all of this because the strides that they are making is incredible.

Indeed it is. And that goes hand in hand with the other aspects of healing, which, you know, we've learned about this. At least I'll speak for myself, I've learned more about this, how the integration of the medical and physiological, those psychological, mental health issues, emotional health issues, the changes in relationships are all so very important. I became a little bit more mindful myself about mindfulness, for instance, and meditation and prayer. I've always been a believer in those things, but certainly a little more so now and how things even like visualization can be a thing. I sometimes tell the story about when I was diagnosed, shortly after that was right around Christmas, and I spent some time with my granddaughters who are, you know, were 5 and 2 at the time, and I tried to visualize them at ages 21 and 18. And how, you know, I wanted to see that. I wanted to use that as a tool. So I'm thankful for the giggles and the laughs of my granddaughters then, helping me to visualize them moving forward. That gives me something to shoot for. So these are some of the things I'm thankful for as well. My granddaughters give me something to shoot for.

Right, right. We are learning that it is so much more that we are having to deal with. One of the things that I've been learning a lot about is nutrition. And you know, just what we need to be feeding our body or not feeding our body that will help us. And in many ways, it's gonna be healthy for us no matter what. Cutting down on sugar, alcohol, and eating more vegetables. That's always a challenge for me. I'm not a vegetable person. But it really is things that will benefit all of us. So when we're making the changes in our diet, make them for your family also. Their cholesterol will thank you. Their blood pressure will thank you. All of those various things. And it is things that are really pretty simple to do. Now, of course, I say that as we're having the turkey and the pie right now. But the thing to remember is it's okay to do that, but do it in moderation. And only do it now and then, several weeks when we do it again for Christmas.

Sure, by now it's nutritional, you mentioned that, I was thinking about that just as we are in my particular family, we celebrated one of our family Thanksgivings this past weekend. And we've got a couple more this upcoming weekend as we talk here now, and all the feast of all the Thanksgiving food that we have. But I had my surgery in April, and I almost immediately over the next eight weeks or so lost about 25 pounds. And some people thought it was because of the surgery, something happened, but it really wasn't. It was because I became more mindful that I had to get my overall health in gear. So, you know, I'm diabetic, I had to get my diabetes more in control, for instance. So that type of thing, and my general practitioner doctor, when I met with him eight weeks or so after my surgery, was amazed at how my overall health improved. So I am kind of thankful, then, that in a very real way, the cancer got me off my butt to go do what I really needed to do for my overall health. That way, right? Let's talk about, you know, how are you thankful for people, the caretakers, the people who care for and wanting to give care to people who have cancer.

Yeah, I think that's one of the things that we forget, and we forget to be thankful for them. In many ways, they have it harder than we do because they're watching us suffer. They're watching us go through all of this. And then, of course, they're worried that we're going to leave them. So we have to understand that our caregivers need our hugs, kisses, and all of that more than ever. And even if it's just something little, be grateful for them and thank them for that. That's one of the things that I really do try and do more, and, like everything, we get to always do something more, but to tell people thank you, even if it was just something as simple as, you know, they brought me a straw. You know what? It's okay to say thank you because, again, we don't know what's going on in their day. And maybe that smile and that thank you is the best thing that's going to happen to them. But they'll remember our caregivers and always, always be thankful for them. They're trying as hard as they can in a situation where, in many cases, they're as lost or more lost than we are.

Yeah, I think it's so important just to be thankful and grateful and to say it or show it in some way or another. I spent some time visiting with a relative who's relegated to a health care facility because of very serious health matters. And the more time I spent with him several days ago, over the holidays, some caregivers came in to care for him. Some of them were medically oriented, but other people were in there to serve food and to clean the room and things like that. And I just paid notice that my relatives, my uncle, treated everybody the same with a smile and a laugh and a little dumb joke. Comes in our family, I guess. But, you know, just being kind and being funny, you know, kind of his thing to both people, whatever level of care they were giving. And that's an important thing. And just being mindful of this, and that sense of I have a son who is a hospice worker, and he travels to people's homes and does that and the palliative care aspect of this is so important that people are cared for. And we need to appreciate those folks who are caring for people and doing kind of the gross work that happens when people are going through cancer and things like that. What else is going on with you, Deb? Those things come to mind that it's like, well, how about what we do here on this podcast? Is there anything about it that you find helpful or thankful for?

Well, it's your we all remember when the television program MASH was on. Anyhow, people of our generation do, right? And I remember one of the episodes, they said, "Why are you always laughing?" And Hawkeye responded, "Because if I didn't laugh, I would cry." And I think that is so important because, you know, there's also chemicals that are released in our body when we laugh. But even if it's a light chuckle, a belly laugh, a smile, you know, sometimes just a smile will help kind of lift us up. You know, that's why we're lift or uppers, right? But it is something that I think is so important. And it is sometimes kind of dark humor, right? You know, we laugh, you know, but people are like, "Really? That's what you're laughing about." But yeah, sure, you know, I laughed over the fact that, you know, my bald head and, you know, it was, you know, and just things like that kind of help us get through it. And we need to have that humor. And if you're dealing with somebody, and they kind of have some humor that you're thinking is a little inappropriate, that's all right, just chuckle and go on.

Move on. And that, you know, one of the things I think, a gift that can come out of having cancer is it is a kind of a fear-inducing thing if you allow it to be there. And then when you face down your fear with some fun, or you face down your fear by poking fun, it kind of makes this ugly, taboo subject a little bit less intimidating. You can deal with it, you know, and it's a little bit better. And I like to think we can cope with it a little bit better. And that's a good thing. And I like it. And it releases tension, do you think? It releases tension and that kind of thing?

Yes, it releases tension, it does improve your mood, all those things. And where you can find humor, find humor. I even named my cancer, you know, partially because it gives you something to focus on. But like, my doctors kept calling these artifacts, "You have artifacts." So, of course, my cancer is named Artie.

Yeah, there you go. Artifacts. There you go. Well, you know, one thing I'm also thankful for, Deb, is that this is our 20th episode of the podcast. We've had some great guests on here. And what are some things that you've learned or that have struck you about some of our guests that we've had?

Yeah, they've all had such wonderful messages. And, you know, all very personal messages. And I think that's one of the things that we all need to remember is, each time we're dealing with this, it is very individual. And so we have to acknowledge that. But, you know, I think the ones who told jokes, those were obviously some of the best ones. But the ones that poked fun at themselves, I mean, those were fun too. You know, often, Ed Fred, you know, because he would, you know, his heart would stop, he'd go thud, and he thought he'd get concussions, but...

He was a good one, that's for sure.

When and so yeah, just all of our guests have been wonderful.

One of the ones I remember was one of our first interviews today was a fella named Edward Miski. And he would talk about relating cancer to musical theater, drama, and the music, and that kind of a thing. And he had some great stories to tell about it. And then, of course, we had Rick Roberts, who is a comedian who dealt with cancer on our podcast, as well. And as part of the live stream. That's right, which I think is another thing that we can be thankful for, that we've been able to put together a live event that at a live stream that we had here a few weeks ago, and it ended up being a live event. We were able to raise several hundred dollars for cancer research through Stand Up to Cancer. And so those are good things too. We want to do practical things as well, and that's a good thing. Right? Well, what do you do, so things you're thankful for, and we're looking forward to more good things to come our way?

Oh, most definitely. Kind of long. One of those lines I always tell people, yeah, as long as I'm not looking up at six feet of dirt, it's going to be a good day.

There you go. There you go. Well, I wouldn't say that just kind of brings us around. Just one of the things I think is most special is Deb Krier because she gives me an uplift in my life, and we love to be lift or upper to people, and you're a part of what you do it for me, and I know that you do it for our Cancer and Comedy listeners. And I just want to thank you, Deb.

Well, and right back atcha. You know, this has been your brainchild, and it is just, you know, I am delighted and honored to be very much a part of it because I think what you're doing is absolutely fantastic and very much needed.